Finally You’re Listening To Us! Hammers and Clubs Beat Out Rifles In U.S. Murders!

All of us at DGB have always said that the ultimate weapons in the Zombie Apocalypse are wielded ones. Hammers, maces, bats, katanas with shovels attached (Katovels) and cricket bats with ice-skates attached (Crikates) have always been our weapons of choice due to their dispose-ability, find-ability, fix-ability and not needing a lot of skill to use in a deadly way, or in the case of Zombies, a re-deadlier way.

So it’s no surprise that according to the FBI annual crime statistics, the number of murders committed annually (pre-zedocalypse) with hammers and clubs outnumbers murders committed with a rifle.

Think about it… In 2005, the number of murders committed with a rifle was 445, while the number of murders committed with hammers and clubs was 605. In 2006, the number of murders committed with a rifle was 438, while the number of murders committed with hammers and clubs was 618. In 2011, there was 323 murders committed with a rifle but 496 murders committed with hammers and clubs. (Why the sudden drop?)

And so the list goes, with the actual numbers changing somewhat from year to year, yet the fact that more people are killed with blunt objects each year remains constant. Another interesting fact: According to the FBI, nearly twice as many people are killed by hands and fists each year than are killed by murderers who use rifles.

So they can try and take our guns but they’ll never take our ball-peens! Keep swinging everyone and save those bullets for Lord Humongous!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s