But… You can’t shoot an asteroid in the head!

Well it turns out that all of our Zombie Apocalypse “Prepper” shenanigans might be for naught. Turns out it might just be an asteroid that brings on the apocalypse. Specifically the disgusting and evil asteroid 2011 AG5.

If it follows the orbit scientists have plotted for it so far, there is a small, small chance that 2011 AG5 could hit Earth in February 2040.

Don’t quit your job and sell your house just yet. Astronomers, who have been tracking the asteroid since January 2011, say it is in an elliptical orbit that could bring it somewhere near Earth in 2040. Earth is about 8,000 miles in diameter; the asteroid appears to be about 450 feet across.

The problem is that having watched it for only about half an orbit around the Sun, the scientists cannot say for certain where it will be 28 years from now. So, for the moment, NASA’s Near Earth Object Program says the odds are about one in 625 that it could hit us in that still-distant future.

The odds of a frequent flier of dying in a plane crash are 500,000 to 1. If you’re frightened of flying, you should be terrified of this. Odds of bowling a 300 game: 11,500 to 1. Odds of injury from shaving: 6,585 to 1. Odds of getting away with murder: 2 to 1. Odds of getting hemorrhoids: 25 to 1. Odds of dating a supermodel: 88,000 to 1. More odds below the fold…
Odds of getting a hole in one: 5,000 to 1
Odds of getting canonized: 20,000,000 to 1
Odds of being an astronaut: 13,200,000 to 1
Odds of winning an Olympic medal: 662,000 to 1
Odds of an American speaking Cherokee: 15,000 to 1
Odds that a person between the age of 18 and 29 does NOT read a newspaper regularly: 3 to 1
Odds that an American adult does not want to live to age 120 under any circumstances: 3 to 2
Odds of injury from fireworks: 19,556 to 1
Odds of injury from shaving: 6,585 to 1
Odds of injury from using a chain saw: 4,464 to 1
Odds of injury from mowing the lawn: 3,623 to 1
Odds of fatally slipping in bath or shower: 2,232 to 1
Odds of drowning in a bathtub: 685,000 to 1
Odds of being killed on a 5-mile bus trip: 500,000,000 to 1
Odds of being killed sometime in the next year in any sort of transportation accident: 77 to 1
Odds of being killed in any sort of non-transportation accident: 69 to 1
Odds of being struck by lightning: 576,000 to 1
Odds of being killed by lightning: 2,320,000 to 1
Odds of being murdered: 18,000 to 1
Odds of getting away with murder: 2 to 1
Odds of being the victim of serious crime in your lifetime: 20 to 1
Odds of dating a supermodel: 88,000 to 1
Odds of being considered possessed by Satan: 7,000 to 1
Odds that a first marriage will survive without separation or divorce for 15 years: 1.3 to 1
Odds that a celebrity marriage will last a lifetime: 3 to 1
Odds of getting hemorrhoids: 25 to 1
Odds of being born a twin in North America: 90 to 1
Odds of being on plane with a drunken pilot: 117 to 1
Odds of being audited by the IRS: 175 to 1
Odds of having your identity stolen: 200 to 1
Odds of dating a millionaire: 215 to 1
Odds of dating a supermodel: 88,000 to 1
Odds of finding out your child is a genius: 250 to 1
Odds of catching a ball at a major league ballgame: 563 to 1
Odds of becoming a pro athlete: 22,000 to 1
Odds of finding a four-leaf clover on first try: 10,000 to 1
Odds of a person in the military winning the Medal of Honor: 11,000 to 1
Odds of winning an Academy Award: 11,500 to 1
Odds of striking it rich on Antiques Roadshow: 60,000 to 1
Odds of getting a royal flush in poker on first five cards dealt: 649,740 to 1

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