Alright guys, I know V-Day is coming up fast, and you’re probably desperate for some ideas, so Chef is going to fill you in on what to give your Valentine for this special occasion without sacrificing your man card. Follow the simple step-by step directions below to create your very own Z-Poc inspired love letter, and then follow the link attached to the bacon roses picture for instructions on how to make these delicious looking treats.
Zombie Apocalypse Inspired Love Letter
You will need:
2 pieces of high quality black colored paper.
1 white or silver colored sharpie or gel marker.
A box of chocolates or her favorite candy
1. Fold the first piece of paper in half so it looks like a card from the store.
2. Write the words, “I LOVE YOU MORE THAN A ZOMBIE LOVES BRAINS” in all capital letters on the front of the card. The best part is, you don’t have to make it look pretty. Make it look survival-ish, jotted and somewhat messy, but still legible.
3. Inside the card, regal her with your plans to sweep her off her feet when the Z-Poc happens, whisking her away in your beefed up, zombie-proof carriage to an impenetrable fortress of love where the two of you will slay zombies side by side and live happily ever after with your endless supply of Tac-Bac and crystal clear spring water on tap. Tell her that V-Day reminds you of how lucky you are to have such a kickass girl, and that if she ever got bitten, you love her enough that you would even use a bullet to put her out of her undead misery. Sign it with:
Love ’til the end, and even beyond,
(your name here) XOXO
4. Write on the other piece of paper: “Emergency Candy: In case of zombie apocalypse, survive on these tasty candies until help arrives.” Fold the paper in half, draw a giant heart on the outside, and tape it to the box of treats.
5. Deliver the card, along with the box of chocolates or candy with the instructions (and bacon roses if you’re feeling brave).
6. Receive showers of affection.*
*Note: If you get punched in the face after she reads your love letter, that’s okay. She’s just trying to tell you she’s not worth your time, and that you can now go find a real woman who will appreciate the time and effort you put into making sure she feels safe and secure. After all, the best way to say, “I love you” is with a well thought out zombie plan, and letting her know she’s special enough to be a part of it. ♥