Part 4 – Making It Edible: A How-To Guide on Food Safety and Awareness In the Zombie Apocalypse

Part 4…

Vines, Brambles, and Other Natural Zombie Deterrents

So you’ve got yourself this nice little patch of land, growing yourself a sustainable bit of food and livestock, and all of a sudden, you’re hit with a band of undead intruders. You’ve got the ammo to dispatch them, but probably not enough time before they get to you and start killing off survivors in your colony. Not everyone is well enough to climb or be lifted to a rooftop for protection. So what do you do? Having all these things set up with no way to protect yourself or your supplies is obviously a bad idea. How do you slow down the hoard?

First of all, remember that we are doing our best to depend on nature for all sorts of self-tending zombie deterrents. You’ve got rivers, cliffs, hills, mountains, caves, trees, etc., etc., etc. Why build everything from extremely valuable materials that are difficult to acquire if you have Mother Nature to assist you? Of course you would want to use these things as often as possible to help you and your team effectively avoid or reroute zombies when you have them, but what about giving nature a little encouragement to do things your way and supplement your efforts? Say, for example, growing a natural wall of brambles and vines to prevent the undead from entering a particular area or path. This is totally do-able, and I would recommend finding yourself some nasty weed seeds ( not the drug type, you potheads) to plant around your safe house and form thick, tangling barriers that the zeds are unable to rip through without expending a significant amount of time, giving you enough of a window to kill them all and dispose of the corpses.

You can also create dry or filled motes of course, which is a popular theme in zombie literature these days. The benefit to having a mote around your safe house is that it not only slows zombies, but also prevents raiders and other unsavory folk or dangerous critters that would rather take your supplies or food than eat your brains from simply waltzing in to your post-apocalyptic home. Collect tree sap – nature’s tar – and use it an emergency fire starter, or for the sake of epicness (I think I just made a new word), save it to pour into the mote and set ablaze if all hell breaks loose. Call it “The Zombie Incinerator” and tell all your friends about it so they don’t go playing tricks on you or being stupid and ending up as crispy shishkabobs after the Z-Poc hits.

Nearly everyone admits that a body of water separating you from the mainland does not mean that you are safe from zombies, since the freaks can walk underwater indefinitely and eventually reach you on the other side. However, you should never underestimate the power of the water’s current. If you are on one side of a river with raging rapids and sharp rocks throughout, and zombies are on the other, it is highly unlikely that with their lack of coordination that they could ever reach you by crossing the river. You may have to deal with them later, once they have finally stopped being tossed around and smacked against rocks, and crawl their way up the bank of the river five miles downstream, but hey, that’s way better than just letting them walk straight to you. This type of natural deterrent is beneficial in two ways: 1. you have a source of water that can be purified for consumption or used to generate power, and 2. it deters zombies and other creatures from crossing over that area.

There are many other naturally occurring zombie deterrents, and I encourage you to continue researching them. This article is simply intended to get the gears turning. Survival and application is, of course, up to you.

Next week: Dangerously Delicious Mushrooms

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