Hey there Survivors. Jason here, your ever vigilant Zombie Extermination Expert and incredibly handsome and intelligent Team Leader. Just a quick question for anyone reading. I was watching the remake of “Dawn of the Dead” tonight doing a little research on the psychological effects of isolation on groups of survivors for an upcoming post.
Then I had a thought towards the end of the movie… They (the survivors) when confronted with the concept of being in possibly one of the safest, well stocked, comfortable, spacious, air conditioned and fun-filled safe houses of all time, decide the best idea they can come up with goes something like this…
1. Construct not 1 but 2 incredibly awesome ZPVs (Zombie Proof Vehicles) with optional chainsaw ports, propane tank dispersal hatches and plows.
2. Stock said ZPVs with an incredible arsenal of weapons, food and medical supplies.
3. Head out on a less-than-thought-out route through zombie infested, destruction filled streets to a semi-unknown destination all the while drive like a bat out of hell without a care in the world about the safety of what could possibly be the last living breathing humans on Earth in the back of the ZPVs.
4. Once the destination is reached in the ZPVs, get on a sailboat which no one, with the exception of one incredibly smug asshole who is eaten almost immediately upon leaving, knows how to sail and head out across open water to an island which no one can even vouch for it’s existence.
5. When reaching said uncharted island they are going to just pull right up to the first available slip and jump off the boat without taking into consideration there could be zombies there waiting.
6. Get eaten.
Can any of you tell me where this plan went wrong? Anyone? Anyone? The first person with the right answer gets a spot on the team with your job being determined at a later date.