Tony Chu is a cop with a secret. A weird secret. Tony Chu is Cibopathic, which means he gets psychic impressions from whatever he eats. It also means he’s a hell of a detective, as long as he doesn’t mind nibbling on the corpse of a murder victim to figure out whodunit, and why. It`s a dirty job, and Tony has to eat terrible things in the name of justice. And if that wasn`t bad enough, the government has figured out Tony Chu`s secret. They have plans for him… whether he likes it or not.

The Harvey award and multiple Eisner award winning, New York Times Best Selling series about cops, crooks, cooks, cannibals and clairvoyants, written by JOHN LAYMAN (Marvel Zombies vs. Army of Darkness, House of M: Fantastic Four and PUFFED) with mind-blowing art by ROB GUILLORY…. CHEW!

Architecture Student André Ford is proposing raising chickens for meat in vertical racks after severing their frontal cortexes, rendering them effectively brain-dead. It would be much, much more efficient, there’s no doubt about that, but would it be any more ethical than current factory farms? The images of the conceptual chicken racks are fairly disturbing- the chickens are suspended, completely immobile, with their feet removed. Tubes feed water and nutrients directly into the them while other tubes carry away waste. The chickens themselves, though, aren’t suffering at all, since their brains have been surgically cut in half, rendering them permanently unconscious. Basically, what you’re looking at aren’t animals anymore: they’re just pieces of meat that are being grown for consumption.

The lightweight M26 12-Gauge Modular Accessory Shotgun System (MASS) attaches to the M4 Carbine and zeroes to the host weapon. It is also designed to operate as a stand-alone system, and comes with a recoil-absorbing, collapsible buttstock. With a Picatinny rail on top, the receiver can be used to mount sighting equipment. The bolt handle (charging handle) is mountable on either side for ambidextrous handling.

After over a decade of development, and testing and tweaking, the U.S. Army is finally issuing the M26 12 Gauge Modular Accessory Shotgun Systems (MASS) to the troops. There are two versions of MASS. The one that attaches underneath the barrel of an assault rifle weighs 1.2 kg (2.7 pounds) and is 420mm (16.5 inches) long. The standalone version weighs 1.9 kg (4.25 pounds) and is 610mm (24 inches) long (with the stock collapsed). Both versions of the M26 have a five round magazine and are basically a 12 gauge shotgun that can be operated right or left handed. It fires solid shot for blasting open closed doors or lower velocity, non-lethal (most of the time) rubber slugs for dealing with hostile crowds.

Senior lawmaker Sir George Young, the leader of the House of Commons, told The Telegraph newspaper that he would “die a happier man” if he could arrange for his cremation to provide heat for swimmers. Redditch Borough Council is set to become the first local government body in England to use heat from a crematorium to warm a pool this spring, the newspaper reported.

“The government is aware of this particular scheme,” Young said. “The Department for Energy and Climate Change will shortly be publishing its heat strategy and this will explore the potential for better recovery and reuse of wasted heat in schemes such as this one.” The incinerators used to burn bodies reach temperatures of 1,472 degrees Fahrenheit and cited estimates that using the waste heat from the Redditch crematorium could save more than $22,000 per year.

Redditch Borough Council will be the first authority in the country to use a crematorium to heat a swimming pool. Work has already begun on the project, which is expected to be completed this spring. Since the plans were approved in February last year, they have won an award from the Green Organisation.

Carole Gandy, the leader of Redditch Borough Council, was quoted as saying she would rather the energy was used than “just see it going out of the chimney and heating the sky.”

“It will make absolutely no difference to the people who are using the crematorium for services,” she told The Telegraph. “I do recognise some people might not like it, but if they don’t they don’t have to use our crematorium. I wouldn’t want them to do that but they have to make that choice.”

Unison, a labor union representing public workers, has described the idea as “sick and an insult to local residents,” The Telegraph reported. It added that Durham Crematorium, in northern England, was thinking about fitting turbines to its burners in order to create electricity that could potentially power 1,500 televisions.

Man breaks into house of Zombie Apocalypse Aficionados, outcome bad for thief.

Anywhoo… The normal run-of-the-mill American citizen would be unable to deal with the situation. Zombies everywhere, everything you loved is gone, everyone you know is a walking corpse, only yesterday you watched as your entire family was torn to shreds in front of you and there was nothing you could do to save them, gangs of thugs terrorize your Survival Team and all hope will seem lost however the only thing left to do is to get to some zombie killing and start destroying what in shape would be human and quite possibly even friends and family in the most gory ways possible. Who do you know that would be able to cope with this situation? Let’s look at a real world scenario and then expand that to the entire world.

You’re waiting in line at the bank and there are 5 people in front of you and 5 people behind you and there are 10 bank employees working throughout the bank. A man with a mask and a gun walks in and yells “Everyone get down on the ground!” firing shots into the air. Of those 20 people how many would spring into action, easily swarming the robber, disarming the thief and walking away a hero? Probably… none. I would assume that every person including yourself would get down on the floor immediately. This is the flight or fight response.

This is the body’s response to perceived threat or danger. During this reaction, certain hormones like adrenalin and cortisol are released, speeding the heart rate, slowing digestion, shunting blood flow to major muscle groups, and changing various other autonomic nervous functions, giving the body a burst of energy and strength. Originally named for its ability to enable us to physically fight or run away when faced with danger, it’s now activated in situations where neither response is appropriate,

Now take those 20 people, yourself, and even the armed bank robber and put say 40,000 zombies outside the doors of the bank. Fast, flesh eating zombies are attacking anyone outside and everyone in the bank has watched over a dozen people get run down in the parking lot, attacked, eaten and then watched as they got to their feet and began to run down, attack, and eat living people right in front of the huge glass windows that line the bank’s walls. You have no guns, except for the robber’s and your own. Who springs into action, easily locking down the bank, killing the 2 people inside that had been bitten and fall asleep that night a hero safe and sound in a very secure location? Probably no one.

What kind of person can? Well besides me and my Survival Team? Psychopaths. A Psychopath is a person afflicted with a personality disorder characterized by a tendency to commit antisocial and sometimes violent acts and a failure to feel guilt for such acts. Psychopaths are very flamboyant with how they deal with their disorder. Some famous psychopaths that you might know are Charles Manson, Richard Ramirez, Theodore Bundy and David Berkowitz. This is the guy you ave to have on our team, he is a cold blooded human-hunter with a free ticket to kill every one he sees without a pulse.

Am I wrong? Nope.

Recently I read this article on Rodney Alcala, the recently convicted sadistic serial killer called “The Dating Game Killer” because he was once a contestant on the TV series. A man with an IQ alleged to be that of a genius and who may be responsible for up to a minimum of 50 murders since his first known attack on a second grade girl in 1968. Not only a rapist and murderer, he liked to torture his victims, sometimes strangling and then resuscitating his victim, only to take them to the brink of death again before he finally tired of them and killed them. A true psychopath, he saw others as only objects for his entertainment, human playthings that he stalked, broke and then unceremoniously disposed of. One of the most frightening aspects of “The Dating Game Killer” is that they found a footlocker full of photographs of women, men, girls and boys. Most of whom have never been identified. You can go here to see some of the photos and notify authorities if you recognize anyone. Are these unknown victims? No one is sure but there are over 2000 photos. Alcala, now 66, has been behind bars since 1979, but many investigators continued to believe he was responsible for an untold number of unsolved, and perhaps undetected violent crimes.

Isn’t this who we need on our Zombie Apocalypse Survival Teams? Someone who can get up at the ass-crack of dawn, pull on his boots, grab his machete and head out for a day of hacking and slashing humans? Isn’t this who we all like to pretend we’ll be in the Z.A.? It sure is. I can site thousands of Facebook posts on my site page alone where we have debated how best to see zombies as objects for our entertainment, semi-human playthings that we would stalk, break and then unceremoniously dispose of.

Am I wrong? NOPE.

Who’s going to have the make-up to be a Zombie Apocalypse Survivor? Who is going to have the guts to wake up and de-animate their families, friends, co-workers and heros like Bill Freakin’ Murray? I would guess not many. Or maybe all of us have a little David Berkowitz, Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, Rodney Alcala, Jeffery Dahmer and Richard Ramirez in us? Will the Zombie Apocalypse flip that kill-switch or will we find most people putting a gun in their mouth and pulling the trigger? I would again assume the latter. Are you ready? I’m not talking about supplies, I’m talking about mentally? If your answer is no then you are like 99.999% of the world. Killing for a living just isn’t in your cards.

How To Make Bacon Roses

Alright guys, I know V-Day is coming up fast, and you’re probably desperate for some ideas, so Chef is going to fill you in on what to give your Valentine for this special occasion without sacrificing your man card. Follow the simple step-by step directions below to create your very own Z-Poc inspired love letter, and then follow the link attached to the bacon roses picture for instructions on how to make these delicious looking treats.

Zombie Apocalypse Inspired Love Letter

You will need:
2 pieces of high quality black colored paper.
1 white or silver colored sharpie or gel marker.
A box of chocolates or her favorite candy

Directions:
1. Fold the first piece of paper in half so it looks like a card from the store.
2. Write the words, “I LOVE YOU MORE THAN A ZOMBIE LOVES BRAINS” in all capital letters on the front of the card. The best part is, you don’t have to make it look pretty. Make it look survival-ish, jotted and somewhat messy, but still legible.
3. Inside the card, regal her with your plans to sweep her off her feet when the Z-Poc happens, whisking her away in your beefed up, zombie-proof carriage to an impenetrable fortress of love where the two of you will slay zombies side by side and live happily ever after with your endless supply of Tac-Bac and crystal clear spring water on tap. Tell her that V-Day reminds you of how lucky you are to have such a kickass girl, and that if she ever got bitten, you love her enough that you would even use a bullet to put her out of her undead misery. Sign it with:
Love ’til the end, and even beyond,
(your name here) XOXO
4. Write on the other piece of paper: “Emergency Candy: In case of zombie apocalypse, survive on these tasty candies until help arrives.” Fold the paper in half, draw a giant heart on the outside, and tape it to the box of treats.
5. Deliver the card, along with the box of chocolates or candy with the instructions (and bacon roses if you’re feeling brave).
6. Receive showers of affection.*

*Note: If you get punched in the face after she reads your love letter, that’s okay. She’s just trying to tell you she’s not worth your time, and that you can now go find a real woman who will appreciate the time and effort you put into making sure she feels safe and secure. After all, the best way to say, “I love you” is with a well thought out zombie plan, and letting her know she’s special enough to be a part of it. ♥

Bon appetit,
~ Chef

A Saudi defense lawyer has asked court to summon a GENIE claimed to have possessed a judge who has been arrested on corruption charges, the Saudi Arabic language daily Okaz reported on Saturday. Forget the Zombie Apocalypse… Bring on the Genie Apocalypse! I take a lot of flack from people saying that there is no such thing nor will there EVER be such a thing as a “zombie”. Well I say if there can be Genies… then there most certainly be ZOMBIES!

The case of the corrupt judge in Madina has taken a new turn and witnessed new developments as the lawyer of an absent defendant has asked court to summon the Genie to testify, the paper said.

If what the accused judge said about the jinn, then this jinn could be bad and blasphemous…this jinn could have been sent by a bad sorcerer because witchcraft is bad and non-Islamic.

In a report on the case early this week, Okaz said the accused judge told court he was under a magic spell a Genie when he was involved in such practices.

All of us here at Don’t Get Bit get a lot of shit from our friends, family and even strangers about the whole “Zombie Survival” schtick. The truth is that none of us here really believe that deceased humans will get up and walk around someday. We do however believe that if you take the Zombie out of Zombie Preparedness you are just left with Preparedness.

With all of the disasters that we have witnessed over the last few years from Japan to the hurricane a few weeks ago we see Survivors. Sometimes it’s just blind luck that get’s you through a disaster or terrorist attack, but what you do afterwards makes you a Survivor. In a recent post I highlighted the CDC’s attempt at a tongue in cheek look at preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse, but what they were actually trying to do was put a new package on their message of “Be Prepared”. The exact same message we preach here every day.

So take a few minutes and look around you. What would you do if one minute you were sitting on your couch and the next everything in every direction was wiped off the face of the Earth. What would you have ready to save your friends, neighbors and family? Take some time this week to check out the following links we are providing you and get your house prepared. For the cost of a single night out on the town you can be a Survivor of any disaster, be it Zombies or a terrorist attack. Stay vigilant my friends.

- What is a Bug-Out Bag and what should go in it?
- The CDC webpage for Emergency Preparedness.
- PDF Checklist for what’s in my Survival Kit.
- American Red Cross Preparing and Getting Trained.
- State by State Evacuation Routes and Emergency Numbers.
- World Health Organization’s Disease Outbreak RSS Feed
- FEMA Map Service Center